


What Happens Here

by Amberlioness



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: F/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-11-05 08:22:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11009610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amberlioness/pseuds/Amberlioness
Summary: Missing scenes from ‘Harbinger’, and the days that follow.  This is the definitive step forward in Trip and T’Pol’s relationship, but lack of real communication and hidden addiction obscures the path.  Precursor to "Beginning in Earnest".  I’ve tried to keep as close to canon as possible, while filling in events and back story as the muse commands.





	What Happens Here

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers: General events prior to ‘Harbinger’ and leading up to ‘Home’. 
> 
> Disclaimer: All characters belong to Paramount, I’m just borrowing them for a time. Yes, I’ve borrowed some dialogue as well, and I do appreciate it. I derive no financial gain from this endeavor. It’s just been great fun. 
> 
> Thank you Jamelia for the beta read! Thanks to Memory Alpha and the Trip/T’Polers Shipper site for references. And, thanks to my own Chief Engineer for inspiration.

********

Coral or blue? T’Pol looked at two sets of pajamas and then decided, neither was most appropriate. Instead she slipped her robe over her bare skin, and proceeded to light the candles in her quarters. Trip had an appointment for neuro-pressure this evening, which they were now doing several times a week. T’Pol had been instructing him in the practice for some months now, thanks to the intervention of Dr. Phlox, as a solution to the worsening insomnia and beginnings of sedative dependence that Trip was experiencing. The treatment had been effective, as he no longer had a need for the hyposprays and slept well most of the time. As to the cause of this insomnia, his grief over the loss of his baby sister in the Xindi attack on earth, that was only beginning to abate. 

During this same time, T’Pol had begun a parallel and inverse path. Her exposure to Trellium-D on the Vulcan ship Seleya had produced a thinning of her Vulcan emotional control, which at first was terrifying, producing paranoia and homicidal thoughts. However, as the initial exposure cleared from her system, she found she could access more pleasant, and she felt, manageable, emotions. Emotions like joy, wonder, and desire had come out and wrapped themselves around T’Pol, and she found she began to crave those feelings more and more. Building on the work she and Trip had initially done, she had found a way to purify the Trellium-D in small scale. She had begun to ingest it in small quantities, although the quantities were gradually, insidiously, increasing. Now she found direct injection was required to obtain the free access to emotions she had come to need. 

T’Pol had spent many years refining her meditation practice and adhering to the strict conventions of Vulcan daily life, and as a result she had become quite proficient at keeping her emotions under control. It was a misconception that Vulcans were unemotional, quite the opposite was true. They had such strong reactions that fully giving into them risked bringing them back to the violent and irrational beings their race once had been. Part of this tumultuous legacy was the latent telepathic ability among all Vulcans. Per the Vulcan High command, sharing thoughts and emotions of an intense nature could lead to further instability in their society, making this sharing an unacceptable practice, with few exceptions. 

T’Pol’s emotions had always been closer to the surface than for most Vulcans, and it had taken proportionately more effort to master them when she was young, and continued vigilance as an adult. Part of her always yearned to let go, to fully feel whatever emotion her raging heart was experiencing. This yearning had made her receptive to the premise of the radical group of Vulcans that Enterprise had encountered now more than a year ago. The residual effects of the mind meld she had experienced sometimes still caused her to wake with a start. Tolaris had taken advantage of her interest, and his attempting to force her to continue a meld she did not want was a violation of her privacy, and of her will. He had definitively been in the wrong. T’Pol had moved beyond it, except for the lingering neurological damage that had been done. Pa’nar syndrome. Dr. Phlox was monitoring her and she felt no symptoms. But, she knew there was still something amiss in her otherwise ordered mind. 

She looked around her quarters. Neat, elegant, candles lit, mats and cushions ready on the floor for neuro-pressure. The reality was, neuro-pressure could be performed in full light, and with the recipient fully clothed. She had chosen to present the practice otherwise to Commander Tucker from the beginning. That had been a decision made at a moment when the barriers holding her most logical mind were weakened. She personally found the atmosphere conducive to focus, although it did enhance the intimacy. It was technically easier to locate the neural nodes on bare skin, so she had told herself, and him. After his initial hesitancy, he did not appear to mind at least partially disrobing in her presence, or her in front of him. At this thought, she felt a wave of excitement and emotional intoxication work its way through her body. Tonight, she had a rather specific intention, not limited to helping the Commander combat his insomnia. ‘Trip,’ she corrected herself. She was beginning to refer to him by his preferred nickname in her thoughts, although she had yet to refer to him this way in person.

For the past months, she had been teaching Trip neuro-pressure. He had been a good student, and was developing some proficiency. He was attentive, responded well to her corrections and instructions, and he had such strong skilled hands… T’Pol felt herself loosing focus again, and a small knot of anxiety begin in the pit of her stomach. It was something that she had almost never experienced in her adult life. She took a breath in slowly, exhaled, and returned to her controlled state. The past few days had been eventful, as was often the case on Enterprise. Aside from the new knowledge about the sphere builders that changed their understanding of the nature of the Expanse, what she had experienced of an interpersonal nature was proving to be both disquieting and distracting. 

Trip appeared to have developed an interest in one of the MACOs, Corporal Cole, and she returned the interest. Seeing them in the mess hall or during the additional combat training they were undertaking was distracting, but tolerable. Being asked by Dr. Phlox to do a corrective treatment on this woman following a neuro-pressure session with Trip elicited emotional sensations that surprised T’Pol. As she had worked on Cole, she had entertained the thought of manipulating the nodes that would give the corporal nausea for days. She had inadvertently hit a few nodes that caused more pain than was necessary. T’Pol had not experienced any remorse or regret for the error. 

In response to the situation, T’Pol found she was experiencing jealousy, desire, and a sense of apprehension that urged action. She had been considering sexual relations with Trip for some time. She again experienced a wave of anxiety as she mentally cataloged her rationale and justification. He was of sufficient maturity, in excellent physical condition, and now had a level of physical comfort with her. She also found him very physically attractive. He was tall, strongly built, with blond hair and deep blue eyes. T’Pol believed that she and Trip had developed a friendship, although sometimes their arguments strained it. ‘Or did they enhance it?’ she considered, not for the first time. From Sim, she knew that Trip harbored feelings for her, and it was fairly obvious that he also had a physical attraction to her. She was a more senior officer, but her status as a part of Starfleet was not formalized, making the interpretation of any fraternization policy a bit ambiguous. 

The last line in her mental calculus was that Humans and Vulcans were essentially comparable humanoid species. Sex was quite possible, and there were recorded instances in the Vulcan database, but with few details. The Starfleet medical database however, had provided detailed information on human anatomy and mating practices. There were many logical reasons not to initiate a sexual relationship, but one overriding illogical one to do so. The wave of intoxicating emotions that Trip seemed so able to trigger in her was enough. The Corporal’s interest had simply set the timetable and confirmed T’Pol’s intentions. How exactly she would act on her intention, now that she had resolved to seduce Trip, she hadn’t worked out yet. She would have to improvise.

The door chimed. “Come in,” T’Pol called. Trip entered her quarters. 

“Good evenin’, T’Pol. How are you tonite?” 

“Very well,” she replied. “Please, get comfortable and we can begin. The second posture would be a good starting point.” 

Trip took off his shirt and shoes, putting them on the bench. As he did, he noticed that she had her robe on, but he thought he was seeing more skin than if she had the robe over the silky pajamas she usually wore. He moved to the mat and lay face down with his head on crossed arms as she settled in at his side and began to work on the nodes along his spine. She typically would comment about the amount of tension she was detecting in him, or about recent events or less weighty ships business, but she was quiet. He thought something was somehow off. He knew that she had a neuro-pressure session with Amanda yesterday, and then today Amanda was cool toward him. Between T’Pol’s chastising him for performing neuro-pressure on Amanda, and then seeing Amanda’s reaction after her session, he was now suspicious. Was T’Pol jealous? Not just the friendly banter, but the really, ‘I want you myself’ jealous? He’d spent enough time with her to believe she had that capacity. She usually had a tight grip on her emotions, but they were there, no doubt about it, and he thought that lately she was showing less control.

She was still quiet, so he began, “Between all this training and the extra shifts in Engineering, I’ve been looking forward to this all day.” 

T’Pol finished the series of nodes she was working on. “Sit up,” she directed. 

He sat up and knelt facing her, letting her begin touching his ears and neck. “You aren’t sayin’ much tonite,” he started, and got no reply. He decided he was going to take the risk and bring up the other woman. “Don’t tell me you’re still upset about me and Amanda,” he continued. 

“I’m not upset,” she replied tersely. 

“It sure sounds like it,” he countered, thinking that he had hit the nail on the head.

She continued working the nodes on his shoulders replying, “You’re mistaken.” 

“Why would a few neuro-pressure sessions between me and a MACO be such a...big...deal?” he continued looking her in the eye, “unless...”. 

“Unless what?” she replied with detectable defensiveness. 

“Unless you’re a little jealous,” he said baiting her.

“I don’t experience jealousy,” she replied in a controlled attempt not to be condescending. She was also disconcerted that he was reading her emotions as well as he was.

Trip thought, ‘she’s trying way to hard’ and said, “You’re doin’ a pretty fair imitation of it.” 

She replied, “I am not...in any way...jealous of you and Corporal Cole.” 

“You know, your voice is tensing up, it’s a dead giveaway,” Trip replied matter-of-factly. 

“I didn’t know you were an expert in vocal inflections,” she said raising an eyebrow. 

“I don’t need to be an expert to read you.” He took a deep breath, “come on, admit it. You’re a little jealous.” 

“You’re implying that I’m attracted to you,” she said with a tone of mild incredulity. 

“That kinda goes along with the assumption, doesn’t it?” he countered raising his brows. 

Looking away she replied, “I think you are mistaken about who is attracted to whom.” 

Now it was his turn to show incredulity, “are you sayin’ I’m attracted to you?” 

“I don’t need to say it, you already have,” she replied matter-of-factly now. 

“I don’t remember this conversation,” he said a bit flustered. 

“It wasn’t you, it was your clone, Sim, who told me.” 

“Sim?” he said disbelieving.

“He said he had feelings for me,” she said with a trace of satisfaction in her voice. 

“He told you that?” Trip was more than surprised. 

“Standing right there,” she replied, nodding at the corner of the room. 

“What the hell was he doin’ in your room?” Trip said, now a bit agitated. 

T’Pol coolly countered, “your voice is tensing up.” 

“Well now you’re the vocal expert,” he replied with irritation. 

“I don’t have to be an expert to read you,” she shot back calmly, throwing his words back at him. 

Trip shook his head. “I can’t believe this, I’m...I’m jealous of...of myself?” with an expression of confusion and disbelief. 

“You’re jealous,” T’Pol made this more of a statement of fact than a question. She sensed a shift in the balance of power in this exchange, and her opportunity emerging.

He shook his head again, “Absolutely not.” He could swear he saw disappointment on her face and then an expression like she was reconsidering something. Trip decided to take a chance, “Ok, maybe. Maybe I am. A little.” 

T’Pol was suddenly very focused, “which would mean you’re attracted to me.” He pursed his lips, she’d got him in a trap there, but he’d also known he was stepping in it. “It goes with the assumption.” she finished. 

“What just happened here?” he said giving an expression that showed both confusion, but perfect understanding. “Did we…? Are we…?” now showing real vulnerability. She knew the opportunity had presented itself, and T’Pol moved quickly to kiss him. Trip did not hesitate and kissed her back. She then broke the kiss, pushing gently against his chest. She straightened so she was looking down into those blue eyes. She undid the tie of her robe and allowed it to slide off her shoulders and down, leaving her body and her intentions completely naked. His eyes looked her up and down, with an expression of awe. She took a moment to look into his eyes again, with an understated but very predatory expression before leaning back in to resume the kiss, deepening it. She was feeling the rush of emotion, adrenaline, and endorphins. It was not quite like the high of Trellium-D, but so much better.

‘Oh...dear...god…,’ Trip thought, ‘I was right, nothin’ on under the robe.’ He hadn’t expected this response to his prodding about her jealousy, but he was very pleased with the result. He hadn’t planned to admit his persisting attraction to her. He hadn’t planned anything at all, although he had the feeling that she had, as Vulcans were not known for their spontaneity. 

He’d thought about a romantic relationship with T’Pol, but she’d been so resistant to so many of his overtures, even very innocent ones, that he’d all but given up hope. There was no mistaking her level of interest now. A woman getting naked and kissing you passionately was pretty darn clear, especially, he assumed, if she was a Vulcan woman. She had feelings for him and she wanted him. From the time he’d searched Vulcan database, he knew that sex between them was possible, but nothing else that might be helpful. There was also no indication that pregnancy could result, which was important, as he’d let his shots lapse a few months back. He’d been getting them like anyone going on a long-term space mission, but the last few months, it hadn’t been a priority. After that last rational thought, he gave over to the rush of emotion, adrenaline and endorphins that coursed through him.

They remained kneeling, not breaking the kiss, pulling closer, beginning to explore each other. T’Pol moved to kiss his neck and then up to his ear, biting his earlobe. He kissed her back in kind, exploring those cute pointy ears with his tongue, making her sigh. They ran their hands over each other, touching, caressing. It was odd, they’d touched each other a great deal in a therapeutic way, which made this touch familiar and at the same time very new. Trip took her in his arms and drew her to him tightly, kissing her deeply, exploring her mouth with his tongue. When they broke the kiss, T’Pol directed, “take off your pants.” 

Trip was amused at her directness, but stood to comply, ‘Yes, ma’am.” he replied with a smile as he slid off his sweatpants and briefs, kneeling again on the mats in front of T’Pol. Now she looked him up and down, her gaze resting on his member. Now he felt oddly embarrassed, “Not what you expected?” he asked. 

T’Pol did not look up, but replied, “Perhaps a bit more than I expected.” 

“Is that gonna to be a problem?”, Trip asked uncertainly. He thought that by human standards he was probably above average, and wondered what Vulcan standards might be. 

Now T’Pol did look up, “not at all,” she said with a sparkle in her eyes. She reached out to him and ran her fingers though his chest hair, following the line of it down his abs to the cluster of light brown curls, finally reaching his now very hard erection. She touched him gently, stroking along his length, feeling how soft and how hard he was, sliding the foreskin back and forth. He was losing his mind, and nearly losing his balance. She seemed to be analyzing him, and then suddenly, as though she had caught herself being too much the scientist, she released him and moved in close for another kiss.

He guided them onto the floor where they continued to kiss and touch each other. He got a firm hand on T’Pol’s backside, and it felt every bit as lovely as it looked. T’Pol shifted suddenly, urging him onto his back, and he was reminded that she was nearly as strong as he was. She kissed his throat and licked her way down his chest, kissing and biting his nipples as she went. Her desires became very clear when she knelt between his thighs. She kissed down his stomach and hip, finally stopping above his penis, and took him into her mouth, using her free hand to caress his testicles. Trip’s breathing became rapid as she began to move, flicking her tongue as she reached the tip. She absolutely did seem to know what she was doing, and it was amazingly good, Trip thought, too good for him right now. He was very turned on, but he didn’t want to come this soon. He touched her shoulder, “T’Pol, hold on...if you keep doin’ that I’m not going to last much longer.” She took one more stroke and then disengaged. Trip urged her into his arms and moved them both back onto the cushions, catching his breath. He held her close and kissed her again, and then began working his way down her body, which he thought was absolutely incredible. Her breasts were very full and firm and tipped with dark nipples, shades of dark red and an undertone of...green. ‘Well, that shouldn’t be a surprise’, Trip thought. ‘Her blood is green.’ He took each nipple in turn, sucking gently and causing her to gasp. 

He continued down her flat belly toward her pubic mound. Her pubic hair was a light brown, straight and fine, and in an oval shape. It was incredibly erotic, and he wondered if she maintained it this way, or if that was how it naturally grew. He thought that this was not the time to ask though. He shifted position, moving down between her legs and began to kiss her inner thighs. T’Pol opened her legs in response, allowing him a close look at her sex. Her anatomy looked really no more different that one Human woman from another thought Trip, which was a bit of a relief, at least he’d know what was going on there. What was different was that her parts were shades of bronze, like her skin, some dark pink, and...green. T’Pol asked in a soft and almost playful voice, “Not what you expected?” 

Trip smiled and answered, “Reminds me of desert flowers....” and he bent to kiss her mound. T’Pol breathed sharply and then seemed to relax. He began to explore her with his fingers and tongue, locating her clitoris and beginning to alternately flick with his tongue and to suck gently. He found her opening and was very pleased to find her very wet already. He slid his fingers into her, one then two, making small circles. He could hear her breathing increase in speed, and could feel her thigh muscles tensing, and then small gasps and groans distinctly of pleasure. “Just like that,” she said softly. He continued for a few more moments, sensing from how her muscles tensed and thought she should be near a climax. When she came, she let out a soft cry, her body tensing and spasming. As she breathed deeply, he took her in his arms, kissing her and beginning to stroke her back and then to touch her breasts. 

After a few moments, T’Pol seemed to have recovered sufficiently that she opened her eyes, which were dark green now. She looked directly at him, clearly stating, “I want to have you inside me.” Trip wasn’t put off by her directness. This was who she was. He found he actually liked it. And, he was very ready to do exactly as she wished. He moved over her shifting his weight to his arms and entered her carefully, still a bit concerned about her comment earlier on his size. T’Pol exhaled deeply, ending the breath with a small sigh. They locked eyes and there was something…a tremendous clarity and intensity in that moment. Trip closed his eyes and began to move, slowly at first, working up to a more energetic rhythm. T’Pol matched his movements, and wrapped her legs around him, bringing him closer. She was incredibly warm, he hadn’t realized that her elevated body temperature could make a difference. He was getting close and was soon lost in the moment, there was nothing but the two of them and so many physical sensations. When he reached his peak, he felt his muscles contracting over and over, and the strong ejaculation. Just as he was coming down he felt her start to come, squeezing him hard, pulsing over and over. As it happened, T’Pol gasped, her grip on Trip’s shoulders tightened, and her eyes flew open. She was looking up into his eyes, and she gasped again, as her body spasmed. “What’s wrong?” he asked, confused. “No...no...I...” and he saw a tear escape her eye. He asked feeling a moment of panic, “did I do something wrong...? She slowly caught her breath again, “I did not...did not...think I would climax that way...” T’Pol replied. Trip was relieved and replied smiling, “Well, I’m glad I could help make that happen for you.” He held her close, brushing the mussed light brown hair off her forehead. He then kissed her deeply again and disengaged from her body. He walked into the bathroom to clean up, she watched him go, appreciating the view, feeling a sense of well-being, desire, and an urge to smile. It took T’Pol a moment to realize she was feeling all of those things effortlessly. This was part of that oh so addictive emotional response. Trip returned with towels for her and she cleaned herself as well. 

He lay back against the cushions and opened his arms inviting her to lay against him. She did, finding it a perfect position to run her fingers though his chest hair. Vulcan males did not have this sort of body hair, making this yet another fascinating feature to explore. Trip took note of the curves of her body, ‘she is beautiful,’ he thought. After a time, T’Pol stretched, and Trip thought for a moment that she might be ready for him to go, but as she straddled his hips, it was clear she was far from done with him. She ran her hands along his body, purposefully running her nails over that spot on his ribs where he was ticklish. She’d found this spot during what had been a rather embarrassing neuro-pressure session, and had avoided it since. Trip began to laugh, “No fair T’Pol…you know that’s a ticklish spot.” She gave a little laugh in her throat, which Trip had never heard her do before. Seeming very self-satisfied, she shifted her attention to his member which was hardening again. She stroked him until he began to grasp her thighs hard. T’Pol moved over his hips, taking him inside her again and sitting back upright. Trip kept his hands on her thighs, stroking her. She began to move, slowly at first, gradually increasing her effort. She then moved her hand to touch her clitoris and begin to stimulate herself as she moved. Trip took that hand and said, “Hold on darlin’, that’s cheatin’. Stop a second.” He put one hand on her stomach. “Now just relax, breathe….” She inhaled and he took hold of her hips. “Let me try somethin’. He moved slightly side to side and back and forth, remaining inside her. He shifted her hips slightly forward, pushing deeper into her, and T’Pol gasped again. “There we go,” he said softly. She began moving again, not as hard and fast as she had been, but maintaining this point of contact. She continued and soon she felt it starting, building, and then came suddenly. After a moment, she looked down to see Trip smiling up at her. 

“How did you know to do that…?” she gasped. 

“Well, I felt you...before, and I just had to find the right button to push. I’m a very good engineer,” he said smirking. He was not about to tell her about the old girlfriend who had not only been sure of the existence of her g-spot, but had been hell bent on having him find it. T’Pol was unsatisfied with his answer, but very satisfied with the result, and continued her movement. He didn’t last long at all then. 

After cleaning up and sharing a glass of water, T’Pol asked him to join her in her bunk and they got comfortable. The bunks were large enough for two, but just. They held each other for a while, kissing, touching and slowly working themselves up into another round. 

“So, how am I doin’?” Trip asked in between placing kisses on her neck. 

“Are you asking for a performance review, Commander?” she replied, raising an eyebrow. 

“No,” he chuckled, “not what I meant. First, please call me Trip, especially if we’re like this. Ok?” 

“I can do that, Trip,” she replied. She felt a wave of emotion flow over her, and her pulse increase.

He gave her a squeeze, “thanks darlin’. Now, I just want you to tell me what you like, or don’t like, that’s all. You seem to be enjoying yourself, but, this is a first for me, being with a Vulcan, so I just wanted to be sure.” 

“This is a first for me as well, being with a Human, as you put it. You are, very proficient, and this is proving to be a most pleasurable experience,” T’Pol replied. 

Trip smiled, “I take that as a compliment, and I’m glad.” He kissed her softly. “You’re incredibly passionate, and beautiful, and...” he paused, “I want you....” Reading desire in her face matching his, Trip took her knee and brought her leg up over his hip allowing him to enter her. Then they moved slowly, taking their time, kissing, touching. As they did, T’Pol lay her hand along his jaw and temple and looked into his eyes as she gasped and let out little moans of pleasure. Trip suddenly felt a little like he was falling, and then felt her come around him again. She was glowing with perspiration and even with her very messy hair was a thing of beauty. He moved again bringing himself over her, without breaking their connection, and plunged deeply into her, over and over, and amazingly, finished as she came again. 

Trip became aware of his surroundings some time later. He was in T’Pol’s bed, and she was dozing in his arms. “T’Pol...” murmured into her hair, nuzzling the back of her neck. “Trip”, she murmured back, but made no other move. He could see the chronometer near the door, and it read 02:37. “T’Pol, it’s 02:37, I should go. I don’t want to really, but the early shift will be up and about soon.” She began to get up, but instead of getting out of bed, she straddled him. “Make me come again,” she said softly as she bent to kiss him. She was absolutely intoxicated by him, and the waves of emotion she was floating on. Trip could not do anything but comply. 

“T’Pol...” he murmured. It’s 03:12. I really have ta go.” He rolled out of her bed and located his clothes, almost able to get them on in the right sequence. He came back to the bed and kissed her once again, long and slow. “See you at breakfast?” 

“Yes,” she replied.

Trip walked quickly and quietly through the still deserted corridors of Enterprise, without encountering anyone. People had been talking, and he didn’t want to give anymore grist for that mill. Grateful that he’d made the ‘walk of shame’ undetected, he entered his quarters and headed for his bathroom, stripping down as he went. He knew he was disheveled, covered in sweat, not all of it his, sticky, and sore. His image in the mirror was almost comical, his hair stuck out in all directions, his lips were actually a bit swollen, and he had, of all things, a love bite on his shoulder. ‘Good Lord,’ he thought, ‘I haven’t had one of those since I was...16, 17?’ he couldn’t exactly remember. Not as a grown man, definitely. He turned and looked at his back, and she’d left marks there too. He laughed a little and whistled, he wasn’t mad, quite the opposite. At least he’d be able to cover all of this with his uniform he thought, and made a mental note to stay out of sick bay for a few days. He showered quickly, thinking that he could still get a few hours of sleep before he had to be on duty. His whole body still felt tingly, as he thought about being with T’Pol. It had been remarkable, incredibly hot, for sure, but he thought more than just sex. They tried so hard not to admit they were attracted to each other, but had revealed not just that they were, but that there were real feelings between them. The inscrutable, unattainable, and exotically beautiful T’Pol had shown him that without a doubt. Trip knew that whatever came next with T’Pol wouldn’t be easy, but if he wanted a predictable relationship he would have truly pursued Amanda, or someone like her. He fell asleep knowing that he wanted this relationship to continue, and hoping she did too. 

T’Pol did not sleep. She sat up in her bunk, drawing the covers tightly around her. She looked around the room and was confronted by all the evidence of the night’s activities; water glasses, towels and her robe on the floor, the now extinguished candles, and his scent on the covers, in the air, and on her body. She ran her fingers along her skin, sensing the dried perspiration and saliva, the not unpleasant soreness. This was not what she had experienced in her previous, although limited, sexual encounters. Her head swam with emotion. 

Feeling what she thought was the remnants of jealousy, persistent raw desire, pride at her seduction of him, possessiveness of him, gratitude that he had been receptive, kind, and skillful as a lover, she felt power over him, hunger and need for him to control her, and an underlying tenderness and affection. All of this conflicted, and she fought to order it and put it into a place where it could reside and cause no harm. She realized she had effectively admitted feelings for him, and had then gone on to lose control to the point where she had very visibly displayed them. She had even shed a tear when overwhelmed with emotion when he had brought her to a climax with him. She did not know why that should affect her so, but it had. It was too much for her. Then the fear and the doubt came. How could she work with him, see him every day, and have to make critical decisions with him, when she all she could do is think of the two of them in the throes of a deep and passionate embrace? She would be distracted, unfocused, unable to concentrate. She had thought she could indulge in a physical relationship, enjoy some of the emotion it could bring, and then safely put it away, without forming an attachment. T’Pol had not anticipated this storm and how it tore at her heart, destabilizing her. She now believed she had a terrible choice to make. She wanted him so much, but the power of her reaction and the emotions he stirred in her was overwhelming. She found herself shedding a tear again but this time it was quite the opposite of joy.

And then the tactical alert sounded. “All senior staff report to their stations.” T’Pol somehow managed to get herself dressed and to her station in time to locate the alien and, with Trip’s efforts in Engineering, stop it from damaging the ship. It had been a very eventful night.

*****

By the time she saw Trip in the mess hall, T’Pol had reestablished her emotional control. He had wanted to talk about the night before, but let her begin. She told a lie. Making light of their connection, and attributing it to her wanting to explore human sexuality as an intellectual curiosity. He was confused, disbelieving, and then hurt, and she accused him of getting ‘emotional’. He told her they probably should forget it ever happened, and she agreed. T’Pol hid her face behind her mug of tea, so he might not see her biting her lip. 

She was prepared for him to get up and leave, and perhaps not want to speak to her, which would have been a reasonable, although emotional, response. But he did not. “It doesn’t mean we can’t keep doing the neuro-pressure though…?” he asked, giving her a saddened smile. She answered in assent with a nod of her head, not sure at all of what had just happened. 

****

In the next days, they worked together, met for lunch, had dinner in the Captain’s mess; all of the activities they had done before they’d become ‘intimate’. To an outside observer, the Chief Engineer and Science Officer had a close working relationship, even though they could have heated disagreements. A close observer would have noticed how they seemed to suddenly become quiet and distracted, how they often invaded each other’s personal space without the other reacting, and how they oddly avoided eye contact. T’Pol and Trip made every effort to forget their night together had ever happened, and both were failing miserably. 

T’Pol meditated longer than she normally did. Trip worked out. He tried to sleep, and he couldn’t. The third day facing lack of sleep, he messaged T’Pol, ‘I’m not sleeping, and I really need to. Neuro-pressure?’ She messaged back, ‘Agreed. Come to my quarters.’ 

Trip entered her quarters, and it was the same as the last time he was there. Candles were lit, mats and cushions were on the floor. T’Pol was wearing the pajamas she had worn for most of their neuro-pressure sessions. Tonight, it was the bright pink set. She was so beautiful, he thought, and he felt a lump in his throat. She seemed pleased to see him. She patted the mat and said softly, “why don’t you lie down and we can start.” He reflexively took off his shirt, and then asked, ‘um, is this ok?’ 

“No, that is fine. Please, lie down.” She began working on his back, at first finding it difficult to concentrate, but then the routine and pattern of the treatment took over and she focused on relaxing him. She had said they could continue with this, and he did need her help. They made it through the basic postures, and Trip was feeling much relaxed. 

When she finished, Trip said, “let me return the favor, I bet you could use it.” T’Pol inclined her head to the side and said, “yes, I could.” Trip was able to go through the basic postures with her, as he was beginning to feel confident in this practice. Finishing up, he was touching the sides of her face. He couldn't help it, he leaned in and kissed her gently. She kissed him back. They looked into each other’s eyes, both beginning to breathe faster. Trip wanted to tell her how much he wanted her, how much he cared about her, but it felt like saying anything would break the spell. He leaned back in and kissed her again, taking her into his arms. She melted into him, sighing softly. When she broke the kiss, she took his hand and rose, guiding them toward her bunk. They undressed each other and lay down. They made love, completely focused on each other, quiet, but deeply passionate. 

They lay spooning, and Trip started to speak, “T’Pol...” 

“Shh,” she replied. “We both require sleep. We will wake early.” 

Trip was surprised. She wanted him to stay. He kissed her neck and said, “g’night then,” while pulling her closer. T’Pol was experiencing feelings of deep affection and attachment along with the satiation of her desire. His presence seemed to keep the emotional whirlwind at bay, and she was able to sleep.

Over the next weeks, they continued their neuro-pressure sessions when possible, most of them morphing into making love. But they never had that conversation about what was happening between them. It was like holding their combined breath, waiting. 

Then the Xindi attack left Enterprise crippled. In the middle of their repairs and recovery, one night T’Pol risked her life for one more dose of Trellium-D. It was her last. T’Pol came to the realization that she had to end the addiction, to get help from Dr. Phlox. She believed that she could do this best by seeking isolation, never explaining to Trip why she suddenly pulled back from him. Every day she came a small step closer to managing the storm of emotion that had been released, always believing that she could have what she had always secretly desired, to love beyond sense, reason, or logic. 

****

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Notes: 
> 
> While many of the details on Vulcan Pon farr and sexual behaviors are a bit murky, I am in agreement that the mating cycle is not the only time Vulcans can or do have sex. For that reason, I do not believe that T’Pol was virginal prior to this event. Possibly, not very experienced, but a smart woman, and a quick study. (A gal after my own heart, one might say.) I would also suggest that while Vulcans may have sex prior to being married, as marriage is of great significance in their culture, they would avoid becoming emotionally attached. This would by social convention lead to short term sexual liaisons, and perhaps ones that were less passionate, although meeting the need for sexual gratification.
> 
> I also thought I needed to establish that the normal practice for men and women in Starfleet, even at this time, is to use birth control on long term missions. And I do postulate that an injectable drug for men is available and in routine use.


End file.
